


Glorified Roommates

by Grinder1833



Series: Missing Moments [8]
Category: As the Wolrd Turns
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-03
Updated: 2011-06-03
Packaged: 2017-10-20 00:44:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grinder1833/pseuds/Grinder1833
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke may be Noah's happy ending, but is it enough for him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glorified Roommates

Luke’s ill-fated swimming excursion to the pond had left him agitated to say the least. All he had wanted to do was take a nice, relaxing swim. He needed to unwind after this morning. Noah had given him a few things to think about… and wonder about as well. But when he reached the pond he had made a harsh discovery…his father sitting on one of the banks chatting with Carly…the woman he cheated on his mother with. Luke’s blood still boiled when he remembered seeing them together.

How dare Carly show her face at the farm? She had no right.

Damn her. And damn his father for fucking up his parents’ marriage. Luke felt foolish for even thinking that his father had wanted to make his marriage work. Getting laid was more important than his wife and children.

Sex.

Not his favorite subject at the moment. Luke didn’t even want to think about it now. All he wanted to do was unleash some of his anger and frustration. He needed to get lost. At least for a little while.

And he knew the perfect way to do it. Luke headed directly to upstairs to his bedroom to change back into his jeans and red striped polo. Then he trekked down to the stables…his salvation.

A nice long ride on his tawny mare, Willow, was just the remedy he needed. Ever since he’d recovered from his paralysis he didn’t take horseback riding for granted. It was one of the things he missed most. There was nothing like riding fast with the wind in his hair. Sure, he got the same effect when he drove with the top down on his Mustang, but it was nothing compared to riding through the meadows and gentle rolling hills of the Snyder farm on horseback.

Noah has yet to learn to ride. Not because he didn’t want to. Life had a way of preventing Luke from being able to give him riding lessons. First there was the paralysis, then Ameera, followed by the reemergence of the Colonel and his death, and finally the breakup. Now that they were back together nothing should stand in the way of Noah learning how to ride.

Humph…that was what he’d thought about having sex with Noah. After a few weeks of dating and getting back to the roots of their relationship, Luke was ready once again to take the final step. He thought Noah would be too. Boy was he wrong about that!

_Stop it. Noah explained his reasons. And they were valid, weren’t they? He called me his happy ending. Shouldn’t that be enough for now?_

Luke pushed thoughts of Noah aside as he entered the barn. The aroma of hay immediately calmed his nerves. He felt so at home in the barn among the horses. They were always there to listen to him whenever he spilled his problems to them. They never judged or held any expectations.

“Hey, girl,” Luke said, approaching Willow’s stall. “How about a nice long ride with me?”

********

Luke briefly closed his eyes, savoring the feel of the wind whipping through his hair as Willow galloped through the meadow. Already he felt calmer. Now if he could only clear his mind. But when he wasn’t seething about his dad and Carly, his thoughts would return to Noah.

He should be happy that Noah wanted their first time to be special. He wanted it to be special as well. But he also wanted it to happen. They had waited so long. Luke was half-afraid that if it didn’t happen soon something or someone else might come between them.

“Noah loves me,” he said to his horse. “I know he does…really I do.”

But as Luke said the words aloud there was still a slight nagging feeling in his gut. Did he doubt Noah’s love because they hadn’t made love yet? He shouldn’t because Noah was ready a few weeks ago and Luke was the one who put the brakes on…for good reason though. At least Luke thought it was. And Noah probably thought his was valid too.

Luke respected Noah’s feelings even if he didn’t quite understand them. There was still so much about Noah that was a mystery to Luke. He had hoped that their talk after Noah had returned from Chicago would help Noah open up more to Luke. But it hasn’t happened…yet. Luke was determined that it would someday.

“I can wait for Noah,” Luke said as he slowed Willow down. “It’s not like I _really_ know what I’m missing. Well…I do know some of the things I’ve been missing.”

Aside from their make-out session on the porch after the Army mess, things had been pretty chaste between them. Luke hadn’t been too far off base about being “glorified roommates” since some of the passion seemed to have vanished from their relationship. At least that’s how it seemed to Luke. Sure there were still hugs and kisses…but they were usually quick and…well…friendly.

“Damn it…I just want to feel desired,” he grumbled.

Noah did still want him. Luke knew that in his heart, but sometimes he needed to feel it. Oh did he never need to feel it. The sooner the better too.

The rumble in his stomach reminded him that it was probably getting close to dinner time which meant Noah should be home from work soon. He turned Willow around and galloped for home.

********

Noah was treated to one of his favorite sights when he returned home from work…Luke on horseback. He had just gotten out of his truck when he saw Luke and Willow galloping toward the barn. Luke’s blonde hair was tussled, his face flushed…he always looked so happy and alive when he was on his horse. Luke needed to teach him to ride. He wanted to be able to share something with Luke that was so special to him.

“Hey, Luke!” Noah called out to him as he started to stroll toward the barn where his boyfriend was headed.

“Noah!” He stopped the horse and dismounted. “I guess I was out later than I thought.” Luke took the reigns, leading Willow into the barn.

“Did you have a good ride?” Noah asked, following after him.

“It felt good to go out and think some things through,” Luke said, guiding his mare into her stall. He unfastened her saddle and handed it to Noah. He had helped Luke with Willow a few times so he knew where to store it.

Noah took the saddle from him, trying to dismiss the sinking feeling that _some things_ were more than just Luke’s father’s affair. “Do you feel better now?” Noah cautiously asked.

“Somewhat…I guess.”

“Is there anything I can help you with?”

“You can grab the brush and take care of that side while I do this one,” Luke said, grabbing a brush for himself.

Noah followed Luke’s lead while they worked together to groom Willow. Usually the silence between him and Luke was comfortable and calming, but for some reason there seemed to be an underlying tension in the air which downright baffled Noah. When he had left for work Luke seemed happy. Noah was under the impression that he had squelched all of Luke’s fears. He had assured Luke that he was “the one.”

“So is Willow a good listener?” Noah asked, keeping his tone light and teasing.

Luke stroked Willow’s mane. “Yup…she’s always been there for me. We go way back…she’s such a good girl, aren’t you?”

“She’s been with you awhile, hasn’t she?”

“Ever since she was born,” Luke said wistfully. “I even named her after Willow on _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ even though I had a secret crush on Angel,” he added with a smirk before growing serious. “Willow just seemed so fitting since she was a bit of an oddball on the show and…well…she was also gay. I figured she kinda represented how I felt at the time.”

Luke’s story was sweet and a bit heartbreaking. But at least he found ways to deal with his sexuality, unlike him who just tried denying it. Instead of telling Luke this, he decided to keep their conversation light and causal…and keep the focus off of him and his messed up life. “I actually never understood the whole Willow being gay thing,” Noah admitted. “It kinda came out of left field since she was always so hung up on Xander.”’

Slowly a grin crept to Luke’s lips. “Yeah…it was a bit odd, but maybe she was some sort of closet case at first.”

“Or maybe they just did it for the ratings,” Noah countered. Nothing got his juices flowing like a good debate about pop culture.

“That’s very possible.” Luke set down his brush. “Looks like we’re all set. You can get her a carrot if you’d like.”

Noah strolled over to basket where the carrots for the horses were kept. “I still want to learn how to ride…that is…if you’re still interested in teaching me.”

“Sure! I’d love too!”

“I don’t have to work tomorrow so if you don’t have any plans maybe we can start then.”

“It’s a date.”

Noah smiled as he opened his hand to allow Willow to take the carrot from his palm. “That’s a good girl. You’re so lucky to have her. I was never allowed to have pets…not that Willow is a pet.” The words has just spilled out without him even thinking about it. Luke would definitely not let his comment pass. So much for not discussing his childhood.

“Really? Not even a fish?”

“Not even a fish,” Noah confessed.

“I’m sorry,” Luke said quietly. He couldn’t imagine not growing up with any animals around him. The farm was filled with them at various times in his life…horses, chickens, cats, and even a dog or two.

The sadness in Luke’s voice made Noah uncomfortable. He didn’t want Luke’s pity so he decided to just shrug it off. “It’s just as well…especially since we moved a lot,” Noah said, taking the focus off of him. “How was your swim?”

Luke let them out of Willow’s stall. “I didn’t end up going swimming. Dad and Carly were at the pond.”

“How did that go?” Noah asked, knowing that it couldn’t have been a good thing, which would explain why Luke took Willow out. He had always said horseback riding was a good form of therapy for him.

“Not well,” Luke sighed, shaking his head. “I told them how I felt…not that it’s going to make any difference. They’re going to do what they’re going to do.”

“But you never know…you might have had some influence.”

“Doubt it,” he muttered.

“Just give it some time,” Noah said, draping his arm around Luke’s shoulders as they approached the house. “Your parents may still find their way back to each other.”

“I don’t know.” Luke sighed. “There’s only so much heartbreak a couple can take. Maybe this time the damage is irreparable.”

“All you can do right now is be there…for both of them.”

“I can support my mom…but my dad…no way…not after what he did.”

The smell of Emma’s pot roast welcomed them as they stepped into the screen porch. Noah’s stomach let out a loud growl.

“Sounds like someone is hungry,” Luke teased.

“Your grandmother’s cooking always kicks my stomach into overdrive,” Noah laughed.

“She loves cooking for you because you always clear you plate and then some,” Luke chuckled. He stopped short when they entered the farmhouse and found his father helping Emma set the table for dinner.

“Boys, you’re just in time for dinner,” Emma greeted them. “The food should be on the table by the time you’re finished washing up.”

“I’m not staying for dinner,” Luke decided, shooting a glare in his father’s direction. “I just came in here to get my car keys.” He marched over to the key rack, snatching his set from it.

Noah’s heart sank. There went Luke’s good mood. He was torn between trying to get Luke to stay and supporting his decision to leave. Noah hated Luke treating Holden so coldly. Cheating or not…Luke was very lucky to have him as a father.

Luke hesitated at the door. “Are you coming?” he asked Noah.

“Yeah…sure,” Noah replied. As he followed Luke out the door he turned and cast an apologetic look to Emma and Holden, hoping they’d understand that he needed to stick by his boyfriend.

“How about Al’s?” Luke suggested as he headed toward his car. “My treat.”

********

Luke behind the wheel of his dark candy apple red Mustang convertible ranked right up there with watching him on horseback. He was so incredibly sexy with one hand on the wheel, the wind blowing through his hair as he sang along to _All Summer Long_ which was blaring from the car stereo.

“You’re trying really hard to get me to change my mind about waiting,” Noah said loudly. “You behind the wheel of this car is just…it’s sex on wheels.”

“I wouldn’t know since I’ve never had sex,” Luke grumbled.

Noah reached over and turned down the stereo a little bit so it would be easier to talk. “That’s debatable…technically you’ve had oral sex.”

“That doesn’t count,” Luke countered. “I never got to do it to you. And you only did it to me that one time.”

No Luke never did, but it wasn’t because Noah hadn’t wanted him to. They just never had the opportunity to do it again because of the ICE and then there was the thing with his father.

Why did it always come back to his father?

Noah glanced away from Luke, searching the sky for the moon. Surely it had to be full tonight. There had to be some explanation for Luke’s rollercoaster behavior. By the time they had gotten to Al’s Noah had managed to get Luke out of his bad mood so they could have an enjoyable dinner. They had discussed starting their sophomore year at Oakdale U, trying to figure out of they’d be able to take any classes together. Noah had entertained Luke with the latest “customers from hell” stories from his last shift at Java. But now it seemed like they were back to square one.

“It’s not for lack of wanting,” Noah sighed, still not looking at Luke. Somehow he had a feeling nothing he said to Luke was going to be what he wanted to hear right now.

The Kid Rock tune faded into Gnarls Barkley’s _Crazy_ which about summed up how Noah felt right now. Luke was making him crazy. Noah felt like Luke had been testing him these past few weeks, making sure that Noah was really going to stick around. As if he’d go anywhere. Luke and his family were home…they were all he had in the world besides his Aunt Ruth, whom was a complete stranger to him. Just when Noah thought he’d passed all of the tests, he seemed to do something to make Luke think otherwise. This afternoon was a perfect example. He told Luke that he was his “happy ending”…translation “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” But somehow after Noah left for work, Luke must have decided those words weren’t enough for him.

“I give up,” he muttered. “I just can’t win right now.”

“Hey, Noah,” Luke reached placed his hand on his boyfriend’s forearm. “I’m sorry I went all bitch on you. This really hasn’t been one of my days.”

Noah decided to cut Luke some slack. Actually seeing his father…the man Luke looked up to and try to model himself after with his mistress clearly threw Luke into a tailspin. Deep down Noah knew he shouldn’t take Luke’s snipes and moodiness personally. “Why don’t we take a moonlight dip in the pond when we get back?” he suggested, wanting to try to salvage what was left of the evening.

“That’s a great idea.”

Noah grinned. They were back on the same page.

********

Snyder Pond was truly heaven on Earth. Actually, the entire farm was…just like something out of a Capra film. Maybe that was one of the reasons why Noah loved this place so much. As a boy he’d escape the harsh reality of the life he had with his father through classic films. The Colonel had forbidden that they get any of the pay stations like HBO or Showtime because he didn’t want Noah exposed to any unsavory elements. But thankfully they had more than basic cable, so Noah quickly found solace with AMC and TCM. The many black and white films shown on those stations often depicted a more simplistic, ideal lifestyle that was so far from his own. Noah had all but given up that such idealistic family life could exist outside of the movies. But it did. All of his boyhood dreams of love and family were found right here at the Snyder farm.

They tossed their towels along the bank and headed straight for the small dock that led out into the pond. Noah trailed behind Luke quietly admiring Luke’s incredible body. However, Luke’s better assets were hidden beneath his baggy green swim trunks.

Noah would never forget the night he first saw Luke wearing them, almost a year ago here at the farm. He’d been a little nervous being alone with Luke wearing such little clothing. He’d babbled about his mom, his father’s strict rules, his love for movies…anything that came to mind. In those few minutes he revealed so much about himself. Almost more than he has in the last year. The electricity between them that night had been incredible. Noah had enjoyed drinking in the beauty of Luke’s swimming trunk clad form…his muscular chest covered with blonde hair, taunt stomach which had a fine trail of dark blonde hair leading from his navel, disappearing into his swim trunks. Luke’s body had turned him on in ways that Maddie’s hadn’t… _couldn’t_. Noah had tried so hard to dismiss all of those fleeting thoughts of cocks and hard bodies. But most of all, it had been getting quite difficult trying to deny that he wanted Luke just as much as Luke wanted him. That night had scared the hell out of Noah…never had he felt so _vulnerable_ when their dripping wet bodies were pressed together in Emma’s kitchen.

Noah’s thoughts were interrupted when Luke took a running leap off the end of the dock, making a huge splash when he hit the water. Noah splashed into the water next to Luke as he surfaced, spraying Luke’s face with water.

“You’re so gonna get it, Mayer,” he said, placing his hand on top of Noah’s head, trying to dunk him.

Noah escaped from Luke, swimming across the pond with Luke in hot pursuit. They played and splashed like a couple of children. Soon they grew a bit waterlogged, deciding to head for shore. Noah trekked over to the swing to retrieve their towels while Luke collapsed on the grassy bank.

“Here,” Noah said, handing Luke his towel. Noah dried off and then spread his towel out on the grass. “That was quite a swim,” he said, stretching out on his back next to Luke.

Luke glanced over at Noah. “I’m happy you suggested doing this. I had a lot of fun.”

“I guess there’s nothing a dip in the Snyder Pond can’t cure.”

“Yeah…it’s a good place to escape from all of your troubles.”

Noah propped himself up on this elbow. “You have it all here…the pond, horses, family, great food…”

“You,” Luke murmured, reaching up and brushing the back of his hand against Noah’s cheek.

“You get your strength from this place. It’s your Tara.”

“Who’s Tara?” Luke asked, wrinkling his nose.

Noah couldn’t suppress his chuckle. Only Luke would be clueless about one of the greatest films of all time. “Tara…you know _Gone With the Wind_ …Scarlett O’Hara’s plantation?”

“We haven’t gotten to that movie yet,” Luke said in his own defense. One of these days he’d love to be able to surprise Noah and actually understand one of his obscure movie references.

“I’ll have to put it next on our list.”

“So tell me about Tara,” Luke said, giving Noah a playful nudge. “I know that you’re dying to.”

His boyfriend knew him quite well…at least his geeky love of film. “Tara was the one constant in Scarlett’s life. She got her strength from the land. She basically sold her soul to keep it…as you’ll see when we watch the movie. Tara was Scarlett’s true love.”

“ _You’re_ my true love,” Luke gently corrected him. “But…someday…I wouldn’t mind having a small farm of my own with a couple of horses. I’ve always enjoyed helping my father with the horses.” His face briefly clouded over at the mention of his dad but he quickly recovered. “And I think it would be the perfect place to write my best selling novel.”

“Would there be room in that farmhouse for two?” Noah asked, slowly trailing his fingers up Luke’s arm.

“Yeah…my roommate can join me,” he replied.

Luke was never going to let the whole “glorified roommates” thing go. He had to find a way to make Luke understand…and believe in him and their relationship. Noah wrinkled his nose. Roommate was quickly becoming one of his least favorite words…at least for today. “I thought we settled that. You are not my glorified roommate. You are my boyfriend.” Noah’s hand rested on Luke’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I _really_ love you, Snyder.”

“But do you want me? Desire me?” Luke’s eyes had darkened, his voice a husky whisper.

“Of course I do,” Noah replied. He couldn’t believe Luke was even questioning it. Didn’t he notice the way he looked at him? What about the subtle touches? Or all of those kisses that they’ve shared?

“I feel like we’ve taken ten steps backwards these past few weeks,” Luke quietly admitted. “I know I said I wanted to take things slow but I didn’t think we’d screech to a standstill. You haven’t kissed me like you really wanted me since the day you returned from Chicago.”

“It’s not because I don’t want you. I do...god do I ever. Luke, you are so beautiful.”

Luke rolled his eyes, which made Noah’s heart sink. Damn…he said the wrong thing again. Couldn’t he get anything right tonight?

“Girls are beautiful,” Luke muttered. “Are you trying to tell me that I’m effeminate?”

“No…you are definitely not effeminate,” Noah said, praying that he could get the proper words out so Luke would understand where he was coming from. “You are very much a man.” He reached over, allowing his fingers to roam over Luke’s hairy chest. He loved the way the hair felt, loved being reminded of Luke’s masculinity. “I don’t know any women who have chest hair like this or a cock like yours.”

“Noah,” Luke groaned, rolling on top of his boyfriend.

“Being close to you…having your skin against mine…feel what it does to me,” Noah gasped, lifting his hips from the ground so his groin rubbed against Luke’s.

Luke’s eyes fluttered closed. “Oh, Noah…”

“I never stopped wanting you since you came out to me last summer,” Noah explained. Luke…being with Luke…had been at the forefront of his mind for almost a year. Sometimes it scared Noah just how much he wanted him. “I just can’t make love to you right now because I don’t love myself,” he quietly admitted.

That got Luke’s attention. His eyes flew open and he pulled away from Noah slightly. “What’s not to love? You’re an amazing person…sweet, generous, kind, loving, smart, handsome as hell…do I need to go on?”

“But _I_ don’t feel that way about myself,” he replied. He searched for the right words. Luke needed to understand that this had nothing to do with him or his feelings for him. “I haven’t since we returned from New York. Luke, I pushed you away then because I didn’t want you to see just how messed up I was. And I still am to a point.”

Luke rolled off of Noah and sat up, hugging his knees to his chest. “Does this have to do with your father’s death?” he tentatively asked.

Would there ever come a day where his father wasn’t haunting him from the grave? The Colonel also seemed to somehow seep into his life, whether it was something he’d said or did to Noah or his actions against Luke…even Ameera. Why couldn’t he just go away and leave him the hell alone? Just let him move on with his live for fuck’s sake…let him finally be loved.

Noah covered his eyes with his palms. “Why did I want that man to love me? He was awful. He killed my mother…tried to kill you. How could I have been so desperate for someone like that’s approval? It’s sick, it’s wrong…and it’s a slap in the face to you.”

Luke reached over, gently pulling Noah’s hands away from his face. “Everyone wants to be loved by their parent. It’s natural. My bio dad is quite the piece of work to put it mildly but there is a small part of me that wants his love. And I suppose he does love me in this own twisted way.”

Noah didn’t know too much about Damian Grimaldi. Luke had briefly mentioned being kidnapped by him as a child, his father trying to send him to a camp to make him straight, and his father attempting to steal his trust fund money. But Noah never pressed for more details because then he’d be expected to talk about life with his father. “I don’t know if my father ever really loved me. Even before I told him that I was gay. I never was able to please him. I used to think I was adopted.”

“Parents love their adopted children just as much as their own.”

“Your father is a perfect example of that,” Noah reminded him.

“My father and perfect don’t belong in the same sentence.”

“They shouldn’t nor should they ever. No one is perfect, Luke,” Noah said. Luke seemed to see things as black and white, tending to forget that there were also shades of gray. And Noah had a lot of gray in his life.

“I don’t expect you to be perfect, Noah.”

“I’m not,” he quietly admitted. “I can’t seem to do anything right.”

“Hey,” Luke said, taking Noah’s hand in his. “I know I’ve been a bit of an ass tonight, but it has nothing to do with you. Seeing my dad and Carly really threw me off. I thought he might want to try to make things right with my mother, but he obviously doesn’t. He’d rather have some sexual fling instead of his family. And it made me so fucking angry so I just started doubting and questioning things…even though you had minutes before told me how much you love me.”

“But sometimes words aren’t enough for you.”

Luke shrugged. “Just my insecurities rearing their ugly head. I’m not perfect either, Noah.”

The darkened summer sky seemed to engulf Noah in a sense of security, which allowed him to let his guard down a bit. He should probably give Luke at least a little insight into his past.

“My father did his damnedest to make a man out of me,” Noah found himself admitting aloud. Luke gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, but remained silent allowing Noah to continue. “By the time I had reached junior high he decided that I needed to play a man’s sport. He…ah…decided that I should try out for the school’s football team. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t hit my growth spurt and was still small and a bit scrawny. He wanted me on that team.”

Noah paused, gathering the strength to finish. He wanted so badly to protect Luke from some of the horrors of his childhood. He didn’t want Luke to think he was weak. Or worst yet…he didn’t want Luke’s pity. “To make a long story short…I didn’t make the team. I tried…I really tried,” Noah said, his throat tightening as he remember coming home from the tryout and having to face his father. “But it wasn’t good enough…”

“What did he do?” Luke whispered.

“He took his belt to me…told me that I needed some toughing up. His father had disciplined him with one and look at how he turned out…a strong man.” Noah squeezed his eyes shut unable to look at Luke. He didn’t want to see the pity that he was sure was in Luke’s eyes. Noah took a deep breath and continued, “The same thing happened when I didn’t make the basketball team. After that he decided to give up on trying to get me into sports. I guess the rest of them weren’t manly enough.”

“Were those the only times…?”

“That he beat me?”

“Yeah.”

Noah shook his head. Even after all of these years he could still feel the sting of his father’s belt. “No, there were others. He finally stopped when I hit high school and got as tall as him, but he found other ways to try to keep me in line.”

Luke shuddered, thinking what the “other ways” might be. But he didn’t want to push Noah right now. He knew sharing this little bit had been difficult for Noah. Luke stretched out next to Noah, placing a soft kiss on his lips. “I love you,” he murmured. “You’re an incredible man. Your father knew shit.”

“But yet I still bent over backwards trying to win his love…even after he tried to kill you…even at the very end on that damn boat. I almost joined the Army to prove that I was a man, prove that I could do some good in the world to make up of all of the evil he had done…like somehow that would erase everything…like somehow he’d love me from the grave.”

“Hey…hey…hey…you need to stop beating yourself up over this,” Luke said, rubbing his thumb against Noah’s cheek.

“Why didn’t he love me, Luke?”

“Maybe in his own perverse way that he felt he did show you that he loved you,” Luke carefully explained. He didn’t want to justify the Colonel’s actions in any way, but Noah needed to hear something. He could only guess about Noah’s father, but there were things Luke was absolutely certain of. “Or maybe he didn’t know how to love. And if that’s the case, it’s not your fault. I love you…my family loves you…my parents, grandmothers, sisters, brothers. We all love you. Now all of these people can’t be wrong about you. Noah, you have to stop being so hard on yourself. Stop trying to pay for the sins of your father.”

In his heart, Noah knew Luke was right. Since coming to Oakdale he’d been surrounded by the love he’d been lacking his entire life. Now he would have to find a way to believe that he was worthy of it and let go of the past and every cruel, twisted thing his father ever told him. Noah took a deep breath. “I’ll try.”

“Do or do not there is no try.”

Noah’s eyes widened, a smile quickly forming on his lips. “Luke Snyder, were you just quoting _Star Wars_ to me?”

Luke grinned, obviously quite proud of himself. “Technically it’s _The Empire Strikes Back_ , which you should know, film geek.”

“Most say that _Empire_ is the best of both trilogies.”

“Hmmm…I just thought Han Solo looked extra hot in that one,” Luke teased.

Noah reached over and pulled Luke on top of him. “Thank you,” he whispered, raising his head off the grass to meet Luke’s lips.

There was definitely heat in their kiss. Luke couldn’t doubt his desire for him now. His tongue was deep inside of Luke’s mouth, his hands in Luke’s hair, and his cock oh-so-hard pushing up against Luke’s hip.

“Noah, I need you,” Luke gasped, lifting his mouth from Noah’s.

“Luke…”

“Please, Noah, please…let me show you how much I love you.”

The raw need in Luke’s voice was overwhelming. Noah didn’t want to deny him but despite their conversation about his father nothing had changed from what he told Luke this afternoon. “I’m…still…not…” he fumbled his words.

“I just want to go down on you, Noah,” Luke breathed, gazing down at Noah through his long, wet lashes, his eyes were almost black, lips pouty and swollen. “We don’t have to go any further. Just let me taste you…”

“Yes,” Noah groaned. Damn…he needed this too. And it was always so difficult to say no to Luke when he looked so fucking desirable. Those eyes got him every time. Luke most likely knew it too.

In a flash Luke was tugging Noah’s damp swim trunks down past his knees. Luke wasn’t taking any chances that Noah might change his mind. His eyes traveled up Noah’s legs, resting on his dick. Luke’s breath caught in his throat. He’d been imagining this moment for so long. Noah had said that he was beautiful, but damn…so was Noah…every glorious inch of him.

Luke nuzzled his face in Noah’s dark pubic hair which was still damp from their swim. Noah definitely wasn’t suffering from shrinkage. His cock was long, thick, and very erect. Luke couldn’t wait for the day when it would finally be buried, deeply inside his ass. But Noah wasn’t ready for that final step yet. One day he would be though. Luke would definitely be ready when that time came.

Luke’s senses were at a heightened state. He was acutely aware of everything around him…the crickets chirping, the gentle breeze passing through the leaves of the Weeping Willow, Noah’s deep breathing, and the pounding of his own heart. Wow…he was finally going to give Noah a blow job.

Taking a deep breath, Luke grasped the base of Noah’s dick, keeping it steady while he wrapped his mouth around it, sinking it deeply inside his mouth in one fell swoop. The tip of Noah’s cock hit the back of his throat, kicking in his gag reflect which caused Luke to quickly pull off it.

“Easy there…you don’t have to take it all in at once,” Noah said, brushing his fingers through Luke’s damp hair.

Luke glanced up at him. “I’ve been waiting 19 years to suck cock…sue me for wanting it all.”

“We have plenty of time to…” Noah’s words turned into a low, throaty moan as Luke dragged his tongue along the underside of Noah’s dick.

“Better?”

“Oh…don’t stop…please don’t stop, Luke.”

Luke gladly granted Noah’s wish. He licked the head of Noah’s dick, swirling his tongue around the fat head. Any doubt as to whether or not Luke was doing a good job was quickly answered by Noah’s lustful moans. Once again, Luke wrapped his lips tightly around Noah’s cock, but this time he only took it halfway into his mouth. Slowly he bobbed his head up and down the shaft, revealing in the fact that he was the one eliciting all of those beautiful sounds from Noah.

“Luke…I’m close…”

There was no way in hell that Luke was going to stop now. Noah had swallowed for him and he wanted to do the same. He wanted to finally taste his boyfriend. And he did when Noah shot his hot load into his mouth. Luke gulped down as much as he could before he had to pull off, letting the rest splash against his neck.

“Oh my god, Luke,” Noah gasped, fighting to catch his breath.

Luke wiped the come that had spilled out of his mouth off his chin then crawled up Noah’s chest, grinning. “Pretty good for my first time?”

“Pretty fucking amazing. Definitely the best blow job of my entire life.” And it was the god’s honest truth. When Maddie had gone down on him, Noah would close his eyes and imagine it was Luke. But the illusion never worked for long because Maddie’s breasts, long hair, or voice would always bring him back to reality. Noah would never have to pretend again.

The compliment made Luke glow. Noah was rewarded with a long, deep kiss. He loved the taste of himself on Luke’s lips…it was so fucking hot. Noah ran his hands, down Luke’s back, thumbs dipping inside Luke’s swim trunks, pushing them past Luke’s hips.

“Noah?”

“My turn.”

“You don’t…”

“I want to,” Noah insisted. “I’ve wanted to ever since the first time.”

Luke wiggled out of his bathing suit and then flipped onto his back, ready for Noah, who dove right in. Luke’s balls were the first area he focused on, gently lapping them, then sucking each one inside his mouth which made Luke absolutely crazy. Luke shouted Noah’s name so loudly that Noah was sure he must have been heard up at the house.

But that didn’t stop Noah. He sucked Luke’s cock inside his mouth, taking him a little deeper than he had the first time in Emma’s parlor. Luke seemed to chant his name in time with each of Noah’s strokes. God were they so good together. Noah always knew this…despite everything his father had told him…he loved Luke like he never loved anyone before.

Noah picked up his pace, using his hand where his mouth didn’t cover. Soon Luke could barely say Noah’s name. He just groaned loudly, crying out when he came. This time Noah knew what to expect. He opened his throat like he was throwing back a shot and let Luke’s come slide down his throat.

“Noah…wow….wow, wow, _wow_ ,” Luke sputtered.

Grinning, Noah hiked up his swim trunks and rested next to him on the grassy bank. “Yeah…this was _definitely_ a great idea.”

Luke decided that he better pull up his trunks as well just in case someone came looking for them. “Sure was,” he quietly admitted, gazing up at the starry sky. “And to not sound too corny but I’ve never felt closer to you, Noah.”

Noah glanced over at Luke. “Now you know why I wanted to do it for you… that night.” He couldn’t bring himself to say “his wedding night”, because it was never that to Noah. His wedding night was still something he was looking forward to one day. Noah let out a content sigh as Luke played with his wet hair. Noah marveled at how such a simple gesture of toying with his hair could be so enjoyable. And the love in Luke’s eyes as he did it…

Noah shuddered. _Was that what unconditional love looked like?_

He certainly didn’t know. His father never loved him unconditionally. There were rules, regulations, and conditions tied to everything his father had ever said or done.

“My bubby,” Luke murmured.

“I never realized that you considered me your Jewish grandmother,” Noah teased.

“That’s not how I meant it,” Luke clarified. “It’s a pet name for a significant other who is both your best buddy and your romantic interest. It’s derived by combining ‘buddy’ and ‘baby’.”

Noah smiled…leave it to Luke to research a special name for him. They never really used any terms of endearment for each other unless “Snyder” and “Mayer” could be considered pet names. But Noah liked Luke’s choice. And more importantly he loved what it stood for. “I think I could get used to you calling me that,” Noah said slyly.

“Me too.”

And Luke sealed the deal with a kiss.


End file.
